If you’re thinking of hiring out the services of your home studio, then this post will be a combination of humor and stark reality.
This was just reposted on the Womb Forums by Otek and is a sage piece of prose by none other than industry pro and audio poet laureate of the audio engineering community, Slipperman. Enjoy.
Slipperman’s 10 Commandments of AE Beatdown
- Expect nothing other than a long litany of suffering. You’ll be less disappointed. In fact, soon you’ll learn to LOVE the suffering, and will become, for all intents and purposes, indestructible.
- Attach some sort of price to EVERYTHING. Things that don’t have a price attached to them are usually perceived as worthless, no matter what their ACTUAL value is. It’s human nature.
- Realize that, with the best of intentions, the nicest people in the world will hurl you under the bus if they have something/someone else who holds more REAL (usually $$$) sway over them. Get over it. Get used to it. Cover yourself accordingly and feel no guilt for doing so.
- Assume the worst at all times…then multiply that by 3.
- Expect that, when the brass tacks are down, your worthy competition, often posing as good friends… are going WILDLY out of their way to trash talk you and your work. Ignore it and refuse to return the favor. Let your work do the talking. You will suffer IMMENSELY in the short run for doing this. Refer back to #1 and #3.
- In the words of the immortal Rev. Billy Milano: “If yer doing me a favor… you’re NOT doing me a favor”.
- Stop expecting to like your own work in the long run. If it ever happens, be very concerned. It usually means you’ve peaked, and worse yet…yer probably in decline.
- Everything matters. Everything. HOW MUCH it matters, and what you do with that hard earned knowledge is what separates you from the rabble.
- Everybody knows a little bit of something. We’re all pretty silly and small in the face of God. It’s a good thing. Your failures, and HOW YOU DEAL WITH THEM DEFINE YOU.
Nobody ever learned SQUAT from THEIR OWN successes. Resist the impulse to examine them…they are nothing but smoke and mirrors. In the same respect, feel free to make as many mistakes as you like. It’s all about graceful recoveries and a steadfast determination to not make the same mistakes again.
And finally, and MOST IMPORTANTLY:
- Accept all the above and refuse to let it alter your basic love for the craft and your desire to better yourself and your works. The fricative elixirs that surround you in the course of doing this as a LIFE PURSUIT will either be allowed to pool around you and EAT YOU AWAY as a corrosive agent…or you will learn to BURN THEM AS FUEL. It’s your choice. There are no victims who didn’t cast themselves in the role, knowingly or unknowingly.
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